Goodbye Uncle Bill

April is the cruelest month,
breeding lilacs out of the dead land,
mixing memory and desire,
stirring dull roots with spring rain.

T S Eliot

Why have such terrible things happened in the month of April in the past few years?

In April of 2002, the 29th to be exact, my father, a bi-polar alcoholic who went undiagnosed for far too long, committed suicide.

Earlier this month, my Uncle Barry, from England, got diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Unfortunately he started showing symptoms. It is said that if you start to notice symptoms - that the cancer has gone too far and almost always deadly. He's the best person in the world. We are waiting to hear news on how progressed it is - I'm driving myself nutty worrying.

A couple days ago, my Uncle Bill committed suicide. He took a gun that his father, my great-grandfather, who passed on a few years ago, gave him and shot himself in the heart. I won't praise Bill for being a wonderful man. He had problems, but they were similar my dad's. It hurts so much. I am a little numb right now.

I go to work in a few hours too, hopefully it will take my mind off of the stress going on.