So Stressed Out

My body is inflamed in almost every way possible, and I don't know if it is causing the amount of stress I'm feeling lately, or if it's the stress causing the inflammation.

About a month ago, out of nowhere, I got a really bad eye infection. I didn't realize it was an infection, until it had already spread to both eyes. They were very swollen and for a week and a half I was extremely light sensitive, I couldn't look at the TV or sit at a computer, I couldn't read or look at anything with the light on. I went to the eye doctor and it was an uncomfortable experience to say the least. I couldn't look into the machine for more than a second at a time without amazing pain and watering of my eyes. It was very painful and difficult to get through the appointment. He gave me drops to put in 4 times a day which were excruciating and caused more light sensitivity. I did this for two or three weeks and it went away for awhile. Over the past few days it has shown itself again in both eyes. I still have the drops and have started putting them in again, but my right eye became pretty swollen and hurt a lot again yesterday. Today the pain has subsided but the swelling is still there.

My face is completely broken out with a rash, my joints have been aching, and I've been unable to relax much. The last few days my tonsils have been swollen and sore in the morning, my nails are brittle and my clumsiness is outrageous.

I'm going to try to do some Yoga today while everyone is out of the house, and that will probably help some. There's a lot on my mind, lately. We're having money problems, and I'm having my own issues to deal with. It used to bother me a lot, and it has subsided to only really getting to me every six months or so. It's so hard to not be able to provide for myself in any way shape or form. Most importantly, I can't help much with bills and household expenses and food...

but it really starts to take a toll on your self esteem when you can't provide for yourself to keep up your appearance at all. I haven't been able to buy new jeans in years, I'd like to buy myself some minor items for my hair since it has grown so long. Because of my eye infection I have to buy new eye makeup, I'm running out of sunscreen (most importantly of all.). It's hard when you're so exhausted (and broke) that you can't even develop a hobby or skill.

I have great girlfriends that I want to be able to spend time with. We've been planning on going out together this weekend two separate times, and I should be used to it by now, but I can't go again. I have to think about my health and stay indoors this weekend and try to get myself feeling better. It's really difficult.

end rant and self pity.