I'm feeling

i'm very stressed out about everything right now. the lack of money yet need for it is driving me absolutely berserk. i'm worried about my family. i'm worried because one of my wisdom teeth is coming in, finally, and it decided to do it at the worst time possible - when i don't have insurance. i'm exhausted from worry, and i can't take my mind off of it. i've been trying, but i just don't know how. i have so many things going through my mind, they are all fleeting worries that blend into one another. i'll be worrying about one thing and that will remind me of something else to worry about and so on and so forth. i've been like this since i was a kid.

surprisingly, otherwise, i'm not feeling too horrible. my wisdom tooth is bothering me so it's probably helping me not focus on the body pain so much.

i want to go to a chiropractor.

Status Update

Woke up at around six and have been awake ever since. My fingers and feet have been freezing even though I turned up the heat, heated them under water and am now under the covers. My right hand is so cold. I also feel like I am definitely sick now. I'm coughing.


The last couple of days I've been noticing that tingle in my sinuses again. It comes and goes, but when it is here, it's incredibly annoying and painful. I'm not congested or anything, but the last two days I've been much more tired than usual. I think I'm either getting the sinus infection again, I've got intense new allergies, or I don't know. I'm also running a low temperature. im going to take some antihistamine.. maybe it'll help.

Fibro Symptoms I relate to

(This post is mostly just for my benefit)

Severe Fatigue - I've had this problem for quite some time. Seems like after the two horrible weeks of Prednisone tapering, my energy level improves a lot.
Poor Sleep - I have a lot of dreams that I don't remember, but leave me with a bad, anxious, angry, guilty, scared or just bad feeling. Especially lately.
Post Exertional Pain - After anything physical, I feel light headed, very flushed, hot, short of breath, and nauseas.
Tension Headaches - I've been complaining of these since my diagnosis of Evan's Syndrome. I still have a big problem with them, and tylenol doesn't come close to touching the pain. I recently discovered that an ice pack really helps.
Cold Intolerance - I've mentioned before that when in bed, my body is OK under the covers, but if I put my arm or shoulder outside, it becomes stiff and very sore.
Unexplained Bruising - Self explanatory.
Chest Pain - I get a sharp pain in my chest sometimes that increases with breathing in and out. Usually happens a few times a week.
Jaw Pain - Every so often my jaw clicks, becomes very sore. I clench my teeth a lot. I find this to be more evident when going through Prednisone withdrawals.
Dizziness - I get dizzy most of the time with I stand up.
Depression and Anxiety - I've suffered from both since childhood.
PMS - My periods are very painful. A lot of painful cramps, extreme fatigue and dizziness.
Restless Leg Syndrome - Self explanatory.

DEA agents seize medicine from sick woman

"I don't know how many times I have to fight for this before I can get some peace and not violate any laws," said Robin Prosser, who said medical marijuana is the only thing that helps her manage the pain from a lupus-related immunosuppressive disorder. DEA - "Shut up, we own you."

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Feeling... (handwritten)

Headache across forehead and temples all day long. worse when I bend over and stand up. also accompanied by extreme dizziness, faint of breath and low grade fever.

Shoulders, upper back sore. Arms extremely weak all day long. Difficult with writing, dressing, anything involving moving.

Very tired all day, took nap for about two hours, still very tired yet restless.

Also lots of menstrual cramps, lots of nausea (off and on) but I still have an appetite.

Status Update

I've been fighting a sinus headache since that sinus infection I had about a week ago. I'm going to try alternating hot and cold compresses and rinsing my nasal passages with saline. I've been having a lot of pressure and pain across my cheeks, eyes and nose. I also have a slight tingling feeling behind my right eye and into my right nasal area. It's really sore and annoying, and it's starting to affect my vision.


I've also discovered a few articles on the web supporting Fibromyalgia scientifically, and even and article specifically addressing Lupus AND Fibromyalgia. Everybody needs to be retaught everything they ever learned about Fibromyalgia. Even people who have it.


Incompetant Social Workers Who Just Don't Care

(Otherwise known as "The Story of my Life")

Dealing with state or federal assigned caseworkers is hellish. The one I was assigned to most recently says 'I don't know' as a response to questions 95% of the time. I requested she talk through my mother or through Sean, instead of myself, since I have a hard time controlling my emotions with them and not getting completely frustrated and angry.

When the pharmacy initially called and told me they had cut my insurance, I started having a panic attack. The panic attack somehow triggered the worst nosebleed I've ever had. I was gagging and choking, while trying to talk on the phone and crying at the same time. I've requested help for my anxiety, but they refuse to pay attention to it. Everything gets 'pooh-poohed' by them.

When the caseworker finally called me back, I told her that she was cutting medications from me that I need. If I were to stop taking them altogether, my kidneys would fail. Adrenal failure or something (more factual posts will be coming soon, I'm just tired and need to write this before I forget to.). She said "How is that?" skeptically. And I told her, because it was the closest comparison I could come up with in that state, 'Because withdrawing from Prednisone is like withdrawing from HEROIN!'. The woman's response? "Well, I've never heard THAT."

When I called the doctors office and told them they pulled my insurance out from under me while I was going through withdrawals, the nurse was extremely concerned. SHE knew the severity of their actions. These people need better training and they need to do better research about the people they're supposed to be helping.

Boy Oh Boy Am I Ever Fed Up

When I went in for my first appointment to meet the DSHS CSO (Department of Social & Health Services Social Worker) I knew from the first time that I was going to have problems with her. It's been six months and she's still saying 'i don't know' just as much as the first time we met. I'll go into more detail about that meeting and my other experiences with her at another time, but let's just say I've heard a lot of 'I don't know's" on her behalf. At that original meeting I indicated to her that I was suffering from extreme social anxiety, so she sent me to an psych evaluator.

1) The lady had a flight of steps in her office, kinda difficult for someone who is disabled and there for that reason, to climb up.
2) She barely said to words to me. I took a 500 question true or false quiz, then I did two timed connect the dots. I'm not exaggerating by any means.

From the psych evaluator's amazing test giving skills, she decided that my anxiety was the result of my 'abuse' of PREDNISONE and HYDROCODONE. ABUSE.

Status Update (handwritten.)

From the amount off Benadryl, tylenol and my regular medications taken to treat the sinus infection, my kidneys are suffering. I'm 'on the verge' of a UTI. I drink tons of water and juice and still the symptoms are there.

I'm sure the Prednisone withdrawals aren't helping with my kdineys, either. Plus the side effects of loss of appetite and nausea means I'm eating next to nothing with probably doesn't help either.