Pre Chemo Anxiety

the whole ordeal last week has given me a lot of anxiety about myself. i was finally at a place where i was happy with myself. i have friends who make an effort and like to hang out with me, who like me for me, so i started to kind of like myself. now i'm worrying that i am making my friends upset or sad, but i'm being paranoid because i know i'm not. and i know that the person who said that is far more self righteous and self involved than I am. at least I have a reason to be - what's hers?

i just needed to vent. i'm tired of losing sleep over this and ripping my stomach to shreds. everybody's told me a million times that what was said was ridiculous and that i should pay it no attention, but i can't help it.

note: i had an anxiety attack last night.