Dream Entry

I had a couple strange dreams on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, Mother's Day.

The first dream was about Les, my step-dad. I had woken up in the middle of the night and went to the basement door and he was down there, drunk, mumbling about how angry he was at me and what a failure I am. The next day he said he was leaving my mom because he didn't like me. I woke up, then went back to sleep.

I then had a dream about my dad. It was my house, but the rooms were arranged differently. It seemed as though we were really poor. I got up at night again, and went to my mom's room. There were two beds, and a TV. My mom was in one of the beds snoring.. Then I went to the kitchen and looked out the window to the back yard. The garage light was on and the door was wide open. Then I saw my dad outside by the big tree pulling his hair back and my mom said something about him wanting to wax his head. Then I got into bed with my mom and I looked out the door and my dad was sitting in the living room in the semi-dark glaring at me. Then I woke up.

It doesn't sound nearly as awful now that I type it all out. But on Sunday morning.. I cried and cried. Sean held me and we talked and I felt better, but man.. I felt so awful.

I keep waking up in a sweat. I hate it. Chemotherapy sucks.