Needlessly Cruel and Ignorant People

A lot of high school drama involving a "feud" between myself and multiple members of the school band. I was never really friends with them or said much to them, but suddenly they started accusing me of things that were completely false. They took someones relationship and misconstrued it to their liking. They had never really talked to me about it to my face, only cowardly said cruel things behind my back. One of them was a boy who, for no reason at all, called me a "dyke". While eating lunch, I asked him why he would say that about me? He said, "Because everybody knows you sleep around!" Of course, I was a virgin at the time.

After high school, a friend of mine has still maintained contact with them, though reluctantly. He always considered one of them an uptight, demanding and controlling woman. I haven't spoken or even though about this group of people in two years. The friend of mine ended up mentioning something about my having to go through chemotherapy. Her response? "Karma." with a pretty little smile.

Doctor Ridiculousness

So, yesterday at the hospital we discussed the possibility of my getting some pain medication for this week, since the Rituxan has been getting worse and worse.

Usually, when we ask my 70 year old doctor to fill out a prescription for me - he manages to screw it up somehow. One time he wrote to give me 7.5mg of a certain pain medication. We get to the pharmacist and he tells us that 7.5mg of that particular drug doesn't exist. My mom had to go all the way back to the hospital to get the doctor to write something else, while I'm at home in pain right after surgery.

Well, since he left before I did yesterday, my mom had to go to the hospital and pick up his prescription for me. He's giving me Oxycodone which is a very high prescription drug that a lot of people get addicted to and abuse. Therefore - he can't call it into the pharmacy, he has to write it, and it needs to be physically handed to the Pharmacist. Well, my mom brings it to the pharmacy and the Pharmacist - Ron, a super old guy who's really nice and we always BS with, tells us that Dr. Reynolds, the dingbat, didn't SIGN THE PRESCRIPTION. So my mom is stressing out, because she has to go back to the hospital to get him to sign it then go back to the pharmacy then be at work by 3pm.

I was bitten by a dog

Here's the whole story, since I never really elaborated on it.

I had started noticing that neighborhood dogs have been running free. Once, I was walking by a house that was three houses away, across the street. And a big white dog started to approach me, showing his teeth and obviously looking for a fight. I stood very still and called my mom on her cell phone so she could help me get him away. She pulled up in the car to separate us. We called animal control. There's a leash-law in Spokane that means dogs can't be off a leash unless they're fenced in, and this guy wasn't. So, we called animal control, because I walked that way very frequently to catch the bus and didn't want any more confrontations with Mr. Meanie Dog.

Then a couple times when I was walking to or from the bus stop, passing by the house that is three doors away from my house on the same block. A young girl (Her name is Misty.) , about my age, is standing in her doorway with the screen door open, kinda half-calling for her dog to come in the house. The dog is in the yard barking, and he is MEAN. She is just standing there, while he's barking at me and scaring me, so finally I told her "Quit being fucking lazy and come get your god damned dog away from me." or something along those lines. After that happened, I'd seen her doing the same thing. Fucking laziness.

So on June 16th, I get off the bus from work to come home, and I'm walking up my street, and Misty is standing outside with her dog, who is barking fiercely, and a friend who is getting into her car. Misty is in the yard with the dog, who runs at me.. So I stop - it worked last time. My thoughts are, if I stay still maybe he'll leave me alone. He then bites me on my right ass cheek - close to my upper thigh. Misty is doing nothing to try and get her dog away from me. Finally I said, "Get your fucking dog away from me right now, he just bit me." She ignores me, and continues to talk to her friend. I yell again "GET YOUR DOG AWAY FROM ME OR I'M GOING TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL." This girl, does she apologize for her dog biting me? Like a normal person would do? Oh no.. She says these exact words, "Do something, bitch." I say "Oh don't fucking worry you little bitch, I'm calling animal control and getting your dog taken away from you."

I storm home, take off my pants and I see that I have a bloody bite mark - I have photos. We call animal control, and the bitch avoids them to the point of her not getting in any trouble and the dog not being isolated or anything. She gets away with it.

The same dog bit the mailman a few days ago. Misty fought with him about it as well. I'm taking this stupid woman to court.


I just got out of the hospital for my last Rituxan treatment. The first week was awful because I had two nurses who are lazy, cackling hens. The second and third weeks, I had different nurses, who were wonderful. Today I had the same nurses from the first week and had problems again. I'm going to write an evaluation.

Dr. Reynolds told me that my Neutrophil's (white blood cells) are pretty low, so I shouldn't be playing 'tackle football' or anything like that. I'm supposed to just take it easy. The Rituxan has been increasingly more tiresome and painful on my body, so we requested some pain medication to take home. I have another appointment on Friday to be checked up on. I won't know if I have to continue treatment until then.

Dream Entry

I had a couple strange dreams on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, Mother's Day.

The first dream was about Les, my step-dad. I had woken up in the middle of the night and went to the basement door and he was down there, drunk, mumbling about how angry he was at me and what a failure I am. The next day he said he was leaving my mom because he didn't like me. I woke up, then went back to sleep.

I then had a dream about my dad. It was my house, but the rooms were arranged differently. It seemed as though we were really poor. I got up at night again, and went to my mom's room. There were two beds, and a TV. My mom was in one of the beds snoring.. Then I went to the kitchen and looked out the window to the back yard. The garage light was on and the door was wide open. Then I saw my dad outside by the big tree pulling his hair back and my mom said something about him wanting to wax his head. Then I got into bed with my mom and I looked out the door and my dad was sitting in the living room in the semi-dark glaring at me. Then I woke up.

It doesn't sound nearly as awful now that I type it all out. But on Sunday morning.. I cried and cried. Sean held me and we talked and I felt better, but man.. I felt so awful.

I keep waking up in a sweat. I hate it. Chemotherapy sucks.

Avoiding Tomorrow Like My Plague

'm to be awake at 6:45 am tomorrow, so that I can go to the hospital, have a hole (probably a lot more) poked in me, and have a bunch of poison run through my blood. Pretty awesome, eh? So not excited. The steroids have helped my lymph nodes go down in size, dramatically, although the huge one under my left arm is still bigger than usual.