Gross post!

The first thing I've posted that is explicitly gross and graphic. I'm writing this blog, partially, to make people aware of the various little daily things that people with compromised immune systems have to deal with, that other people typically don't. We're so much more susceptible and sensitive to illnesses and reactions, that if something can happen - it probably will.

A couple of months ago I had a really awful sinus infection. There was mucus until no end, a tingle in my right nasal cavity that was so painful I had an ice pack on it most of one week. After that, I developed a painless bump on my lower lip. It wasn't mushy, there wasn't any blood or even anything for blood to come through, so I didn't worry too much. After a week or two of having it, I got a little freaked out - thinking it was a lip tumor or something. I researched and discovered it was likely a mucus filled cyst left over from my sinus infection.

This giant bump on my lip not only affected my gorgeous smile (ha ha.) but was also in one of the most frequently 'bitten' areas on my mouth. I would try to eat and end up chomping down on my cyst, which I must have bitten a hole into because this morning, one little touch of my lip and out comes a mouthful of what looked like snot and blood. Sexy, yes? It tasted like a delicious chocolate chip milkshake, too.

Yuck. At least the giant bump is gone.

One of the hardest things to deal with

when you have Lupus and Fibromyalgia (or other autoimmune diseases) is the social aspect. It's extremely difficult to make and keep friends when you're ill. People are too busy and too wrapped up in their own stuff (not that that's a bad thing.) to care about what you're dealing with all the time. There's only so much they can feel for me. I constantly feel sick, so I don't like to leave the house. I have to apply a lot of sunscreen, which still doesn't shield me from feeling sick to my stomach being in any sunlight at all. It's a big hassle. I get tired easily, and I feel like I just bring everybody down and am a big pain to be around.

It's really lonely and depressing to always watch your friends go out and have a good time together at a bar, or go out to eat together, or just go do anything.. I never really get to be involved, like normal 22 year olds do.

I'm going through a flare and am just really lonely right now. I've felt this lots of times, and I'm sure readers have had similar experiences and feelings.


unless you are sick and unable to care for yourself for a long time, with no income, you have no idea the stress it causes to have to rely on others. for three years i've been depending on the generosity of friends and family to survive. i have no money, so sean, ben, chad, my mom, and sean's parents take on the brunt of my expenses.

i completely flipped out today.. i feel awful that i can't thank these people sincerely enough. i feel like i'm not worth it.

Lupus & UV Rays from Fluorescent Lightbulbs.

The other day I dugg an article about the possibility of banning regular lightbulbs for the, apparently, more energy efficient fluorescent bulbs. Recently, I had been informed from a friend who also has Lupus that not only are we (people with lupus) sensitive to sunlight, but also to the UV rays in fluorescent lights as well. I was completely unaware of that, as no doctors have bothered to inform me on Lupus whatsoever. Everything I know about it has been research I've done on the internet or information given to me by other sufferers.

I googled lupus and fluorescent bulbs so I could find an article to link in my comment that would back up my claim. I found this article which brought up the point that hadn't quite dawned on me yet: the sick I feel when I go to the store isn't from having to be up and out and walking around.. It's from the damn lights!

When I go to the store, I end up getting extremely nauseas, sweaty and so sick I have to go sit at the front of the store and have Sean finish the shopping. It's really bothersome. It's almost like I'm trapped in a giant box of radiation, the longer I'm in there, the worse I feel. It just literally sucks the life out of me. It's pretty bizarre, but makes me realize I need to wear long sleeves and high sunscreen whenever I leave the house. And also cements the fact that - leaving the house sucks.