Cytoxan

Chemotherapy. The bad kind. It makes your hair fall out. I told him about the Cage concert next month and he said he'd start it after the show, so I could have fun before I went through the treatments. But he said I can't go to Bumbershoot in September, as planned.

Once a month chemo for six months. So for six more months at least I'm going to be really susceptible to infections. I need to brace myself for what is the biggest risk - getting sick and not being able to fight it. It's how a lot of people with similar disease go.

Today, I was really sad to tell Sean. I've really put him through enough.

I hate to think it, but sometimes I feel he'd be better off without me.