I'm addicted to writing in this journal.

I think this isn't a bad thing at all. I write about what's on my mind in a neat little book and it's kind of therapeutic - and I definitely need therapy. I never really seem to keep up with journals because of my paranoia thing. Somehow my brain gets wrapped up in some neurotic idea that someone is going to read all of my thoughts and doings and use it against me. Deep down I know nobody cares.

Tomorrow is my first doctor's appointment in a long time. Not because the doctor told me I could live life for a couple months, but because I'm a bad girl and skipped my last appointment, then didn't bother making a new one.That place makes me feel so much worse than I already do.

I figured I should finally do it. My back has been hurting and I have a 'heat rash'. I've gained a lot of weight and have tried doing eight minute tae-bo, but it's way too difficult for me. My balance is really bad and I'm not that strong. It's a very hard workout.